i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
