I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
