Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
