if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize