Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
