Nicole vs. Life
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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