A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
