i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
