oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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