so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
