i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
