I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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