If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize