I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
