piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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