Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
