Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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