I am puke
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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