I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
