just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
