It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
this boner is exhausting
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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