I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
