Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
