I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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