The maid of honor just puked.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
