Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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