Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
