to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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