Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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