And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
