Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
