You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize