Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I pour the whiskey from now on
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
