My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
