Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
