is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
