I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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