when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
