Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
