I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
