Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

im having a threesome with these popsicles

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(201): View more from New Jersey

It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.

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(708): View more from Illinois

having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE

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(519): View more from Ontario

You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!

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(917): View more from New York City

Wtf did i hit my head on?

(914): View more from New York

Tequila

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