She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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