He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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