I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
