forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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