i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
