Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize