these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
