I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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