You're so nebulous sometimes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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