It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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