Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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