i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
