So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
