she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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