I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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