U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
